Hola! Some of you may remember me as Tenten. I enjoyed writing (Blue Flame & Creative Writers Guild) and taking class attendance (clipboard in tow).
I’d like to share the soundtrack of my high school life and some reflections. My Spotify playlists are usually songs from decades gone by, digital proof of my sentimentality. Songs evoke such strong memories and feelings. Listening to these tracks transports me back to the early 90s. My teens. Navy blue jumper with deep pockets. Ruffled blouse. I was a newbie Scholastican in ‘92, a transferee who was both excited about and terrified of joining a “big” school. Let’s press play.
“Elevate My mind” by Stereo MC’s – Twas freshman initiation and we performed a choreographed dance number to this tune. As a transfer student, I remember feeling nervous and overwhelmed. Having a big sister boosted my confidence a bit (finally, someone with a “G” badge knows me!), and performing with other freshies made me feel less alone.
The Milli Vanilli Remix – I kept on running, este typing, committing the 10 finger method to muscle memory. Pounding on the keyboard rhythmically and furiously to Blame It on the Rain (“yeah, YEAH!”). I’ve come to appreciate these non-academic subjects in the curriculum: Sewing, industrial arts, debate (?!) and of course, cooking/foods! Recently, this made me reflect about the archetype of a woman our classes were designed around. Homemaker? Artist? Debater? Arnis athlete? Musician? Ballroom dancer? Though I’ve not sewn a pillow case in 27 years, most of these skills have come in handy when I moved to the UK almost a decade ago. And who says you only have to be one or the other?
“Weak” by SWV – Silly (and serious) high school infatuations, interesting and sometimes cute teachers, rosy Sweet-Dreams-like daydreams, disastrous prom dates, “kilig” (and awkward) moments in soirees. Haaay. How little I knew back then. And how little I still know now.
“Dying Inside” by Timmy Thomas, “Rump Shaker” by Wreckx-N-Effect – The high school dance playlist. Ah. What to wear. How to dance and still look cool? How to pretend the high school gym was the hottest place this side of Malate? I remember the feeling of letting myself go to the upbeat chorus of “All i wanna do is a zooma zoom zoom and a boom BOOM” but then reigning myself in. Holding back, self conscious, nervously glancing around to see if anyone was giving me strange looks.
“Creep” by Radiohead – There were times when Radiohead was the voice inside my head. Its angsty riffs and desperate cries take me back to moments when I wish I was someone else, times when I didn’t feel like I belonged to my class or my circle of friends, times when I missed my grade school friends, wished I got better grades, longed to be pretty and popular like the girls who ruled the stone tables. Thankfully, I eventually found my tribe, became more comfortable in my own skin. I came to appreciate that it’s normal to doubt myself occasionally. I realised how important it was to have a healthy sense of self worth. Though I may feel like a creep at times, there’s a persistent voice reminding me that I’m not just special. I’m f***ing special.
“Beyond Rainbows” by 4-C ‘96 – An original composition by the whole 4-C class. This was one of the purest forms of collaboration I’ve ever experienced in my life, which resulted in something beautiful, heartfelt, and yes, socially relevant (thanks to that purposeful stanza). That wonderful experience showed me the magic of getting everyone involved, hearts all set to a common goal. This shaped my management style over the years, and continues to be a helpful reminder in my current role as Strategic Operations Lead. See, 4-C! 24 years later, the rainbows of our lives still shine through!
In hindsight, high school was the waiting room to my adulthood, a sandbox of discoveries, doubts, and emotions. I look back to the 15 year old me, listening to all these songs. She was friendly, down-to-earth, wanted good grades, wanted to get along with others, wanted to belong, and unsure of herself. 41 year old me is not too different actually! I do 57 wpm (Thank you Mrs. Ponce), still pretty easy going, and keen to do the right thing. In time, supported by my wonderful family and lifelong friends, I found myself through life’s joyous and difficult experiences, and the insatiable exploration of new places.
How about you? What’s in your high school playlist?
Here’s my Spotify HS playlist: https://tinyurl.com/y38nzw8s
